1/1/96
Today is the day I will get a bone marrow extraction, which is first part of my re-staging process. It is April fools day, so I am not sure if I should believe a word the doctor tells me. Just kidding!

1/2/96
Yesterday, I got through the dreaded bone marrow extraction! I was knocked out, and I don't recall much. I do know that I was talking to the doctor and getting a thorough exam as the Demerol set in. Then the nurse came in and injected a sleepy drug into my port, and the next thing I remember, I was lying on my stomach talking to the nurse who was injecting a wake-up drug into my port. I felt sleepy all day, and by night-time my left hip bone felt like it had been hit with a baseball bat. It's over!

My blood cultures came back negative, my WBC count was 10,000, my RBC count was slightly down at 10.9, and my platelets recovered to a normal 160. I also discovered a rash on my legs, most likely an allergic reaction to Halcion, a sleeping pill I take when I must sleep! I will drink warm milk instead.

Tomorrow, as part of my re-staging, I get my abdomen, pelvis, and chest cat scanned. Tonight I must drink a bottle of Ready-Cat (barium sulfate), and then one more in the morning, exactly two hours before the scan. During my last cat scan I was so sick from Hodgkins, I had just had a biopsy, and I was numb from the news that I had some form of cancer. I threw up over half of one of the bottles, and I couldn't believe how upset everyone was, but then they all knew how badly I needed the scan. Somehow, ten hours later, I held enough Ready-Cat down to be scanned.

I am nervous about Monday, which is when I get the results back from the re-staging tests. I have already pictured myself flinching as Dr. Cooney tells me the facts. I really don't want to hear bad news, but I don't want to be unrealistic either, so I have to remember that we are not even half the way through chemo yet! I still have all the ABVD to do, and at least one more round of MOPE, plus there is radiation in my future! I am going to guess that I am one third the way through, but I will make myself adjust to whatever Dr. Cooney tells me!

I have been sluggish for a while now, and I was hoping that I'd pick up some energy this week. I have Chemo a week from today, so I have got to enjoy every good minute I can! I can feel a little bit more energy now, so I think it is time to do some stretching and exercises. I will also add Elton John to my CD listening for a new visualization, where I imagine white +'s flying out of his fingers as he plays the piano. He is one of my very favorite singers, and I have always wanted him to be the voice of a singing Blort I named Clevon! I would like to write him a song.

4/4/96
My cat scan was different this time, I got an IV, then I was injected with contrast as they scanned me. I could feel the contrast get very warm as it went into my veins, especially in my groin and the bottom of my throat. I didn't know what to expect, and I had no time to think about it. The IV needle went right in, then a synthetic voice said, "Ready for injection." For the next 30 seconds I had to allow the contrast to sweep through my body, and do what ever it was going to do. When it was all over, I celebrated by buying a new hat. Lucky for me, this is a great year for hats!

My Planet Blortland Site was posted on Yahoo today, and it is bringing me some action. I noticed that one person already found one of the contest questions, but the question has not yet been answered.

I have chemo on Tuesday, unless Monday's restaging diagnosis changes my schedule. I should be in decent shape to be knocked down by all the ABVD drugs. I expect to do OK on the first round, but the second one a week later will knock me out. It's time to feel bad again, I was beginning to feel normal! I need chemo in my blood to get rid of all the leftover bad cells. Access my port and shoot me up!

4/8/96
I am going to live! The bone marrow biopsy showed my bone marrow to be disease free!!! I can feel good about my bones again! The preliminary reports from my cat scan showed a marked decrease in disease, so now the doctor is waiting for more detailed results to determine how much is left. I feel slightly cleansed!

My doctor also said, "Since you are doing so well with the restaging, I may count that 1/2 of ABVD I did as a full round." Wow, I did not expect that! I left Dr. Cooney's office feeling relieved that he was happy about my results, in fact, I was even happy to be told chemo is on for tomorrow. Right now chemo is a friend who is going to help me save my life.

This site and my "Planet Blortland" site are picking up speed, and they're getting looks from the strangest places. People are willing to take the time with all my graphics. I feel a powerful energy with two sites up, especially these Blort-filled ones! Getting through chemo will be easier knowing my sites are busy while I rest! I have felt a powerful energy since I posted my second site. That has got to be good!

4/13/96
I had chemo four days ago, and I am just now wanting to be upright and part of the world. I have not done a thing all week, it feels like a waste! I know I have to go through chemo, so I must remember that it is saving my life not wasting my time. Speaking of time, I think that my chemo might be 1/2 over! I will enjoy the smallest of outings when this is all done!

4/17/96
I saw my doctor yesterday, and my WBC count was 10,000. He didn't like it when I asked him to guess how much more chemo I needed, but by the end of my exam he said, "Plan on a total of eight." He is going to give me 2 rounds of chemo once I am in remission. To date, I have completed a full three and a half rounds of chemo, and to think I thought I was half over. I am learning to accept just about anything!

4/22/96
I just gave myself a shot of Neupogen, just like I have been doing for a few weeks now. I don't have to give myself a shot tomorrow, but that is only because I am having the second half of ABVD. Yes tomorrow is a chemo day! I must now direct the chemo to specific areas, and I will know where better after Dr. Cooney tells me the final results of my cat scan.

This last week I have been taking a break from everything and have been concentrating on my daughter. She had been having trouble at school since my last chemo, she cried for me a lot and since the teachers were not me, they could not really help her. Then her bus driver told me that Brittany just did not seem like the happy little girl she used to be. I had to do something about it, especially since my next round of chemo is set for tomorrow! Now Brittany feels secure and happy again.

It looks like Spring is here, so I should probably start thinking about enjoying the weather outside. I probably need the vitamin D from the sun, and I certainly have enough hats to protect me from those UV rays! Maybe that is how I can get my radiation?

4/23/96
I just got back from getting chemo! I was not in the best of shape for chemo today, but it would take more than last nights minor food poisoning and menstrual cramps to postpone chemo! I know I am in good shape otherwise, because this morning my WBC count was up to a personal high of 42,000. I can thank Neupogen for the high count, but I must say that it is time to cut back on the Neupogen, for all I really need to have is a count between 5,000 and 10,000. Dr. Cooney came to the same conclusion, and he cut my dosage in half for the next seven days! Yay, that means I get to use the smaller needles too!

My stomach is still a bit touchy, so I am going to sip some consume and eat a few crackers. Then I want to curl up in my bed and pull the covers over my head until I fall asleep. The chemo will really hit me around 5 or 6pm, which is when my mom is arriving to help me take care of my daughter. Now I can relax and know that everything will be taken care of tonight. What a relief!

Ah, still no final results back from my cat scan! Of course, now I have even less Hodgkin's than when I had the scans taken a few weeks ago! I predict that next Tuesday I will get the results! It will be the day before my birthday, so I must insist that the results feel like a birthday present!

4/28/96
It is Sunday and I really should be feeling almost back to normal, but the chemo I had on Tuesday is still upsetting my stomach. The nausea comes and goes, but I am sure that the worst of it is over for this round of ABVD. I have been a mole all week, hiding in my bedroom with a pillow on my head. I need to get out in the sun! I must I must I must! I will!

I have decided that I am not going to try to count the months of remaining chemo, because it really is a guessing game and no amount of wondering is going to make the time go any faster! The best I can do is hope that 1997 is a year free of Hodgkin's and chemo. One day all this will be a vague memory! Please!

I have a new section about nutrition that I want to develop for this site, and I am in the process of researching it. There is a lot of conflicting information, so I need to look at as many different sources as I can. It seems to me that never before has "You are what you eat" meant so much, for food is the material used to rebuild a new disease-free body. I do not want mine made out of prepackaged junk or greasy fat fast food. I want to rebuild my body out of fresh food full of rebuilding nutrients. Fresh materials will make a fresh body! I will be like a baby!

4/29/96
It is Monday morning and I am still throwing up! Chemo is beginning to remind me of being pregnant, there is the nausea, strange body changes, restricted eating, exhaustion, and at the end of the many months there is a new life. This time the new life will be my own!

There is a plus to upchucking daily, for my stomach muscles look as if I have been doing a lot of abdominal crunches. That reminds me, I really need to do some sort of exercise soon. I guess it is time to think about getting out my rebounder so I can do some bouncing. Maybe Thursday I will be in a more bouncing type of shape, for if I tried rebounding today, I would surely need a bucket.

OK, time out! I must now be positive! I am alive! This will not last forever! I have met a lot of new people! I don't itch anymore! I am HIV negative! My hair will grow back thicker and curlier! I will emerge a new person at the end of all this! I trust my doctor! My Blortland websites are up and are visited regularly! My life is just about to begin!