Week 2 of Radiation Treatment - August 4-8
Mike and I left early Monday morning for Mayo. I had my treatment. I felt fine. We checked into the hotel. My mom called to us the news we had been impatiently waiting for for over four weeks. Mike had passed his airline physical!!!! Yeah! His job offer was solid finally. Two bits of excellent news in two days. We were back on track!

About three hours after my Monday and Tuesday treatments, I noticed I was tired. Other than that, I felt great. Wednesday (7th treatment), I was a little tired all day. I took two naps. I noticed my appetite was getting smaller again. My throat was very dry. There was a dry patch in the back of my throat that I just couldn't keep wet. It was annoying, but tolerable. I also had bad indigestion or heart burn. Sipping club soda helped. But, it was still there. I tried an antacid that has worked for me in the past. It didn't help at all.

Thursday and Friday I was very tired, had a very dry throat, and heartburn. Also, it felt like I had a lump in my throat. It felt like I had swallowed a hot, dry, sock. I had been warned about this. It was hard to swallow. I did what I had read would help. I ate soft foods in small bites. I sipped water between each bite. I had a chocolate shake (without guilt for the first time in several years). Again, these side effects were annoying, but tolerable. Not too bad compared to the alternatives (chemo or growing tumors left unattended!)

The days with no radiation (the weekends), are better. I suppose that sounds obvious. But, I can feel that I am less tired on the days I don't have rad. Also, I can feel the healing of my good tissues that have been zapped by the rad during the week. The lump in my throat feels less like a lump. My throat is still dry. But, not as bad. My appetite is still not great. But, better. I feel better after just one day off. And better yet by Sunday and Monday (before treatment). It's amazing (and wonderful) how much healing can occur over the short weekend.

Visualization
During the weekend between Week 1 and Week 2, I received a letter from a friend. I guess I'm old enough to call her that now. When I was in high school, I was close with her son and daughter. She was like another mom to me then. She had read the first entries of my story on the Web and noticed my interest in visualization. She sent the following prayer from her daily devotional:

God had given me a body that is spontaneously able to heal itself. So I cooperate with my body's own natural healing ability when I pray and when I open myself to the prayer support of others. Healing accelerates in the sacred environment of prayer.

And if I am going through some kind of treatment - from vitamins to medication - I allow whatever I take into my body to do its best work when I cooperate with it and do not resist it.

So I visualize the treatment as something that is helping me - a strengthening, healing energy that is moving throughout my body and restoring me. When I visualize a healing, I am using spiritual vision. I see - ahead of the actual results - the wholeness that God has created me to experience.

It helped me to better define my mental picture of the healing process. I still like the melting butter idea for the tumors. But, I ditched the turkey idea as soon as I read this. I needed a more active representation of my healthy tissue so that I could picture it fighting back and resisting the damage from radiation. Mike and I talked about this during one of our long drives. He reminded me of a toy we had seen in a skit on Saturday Night Live - a "boxing nun" puppet. The nun wore boxing gloves. I know, I know. This sounds ridiculous too. But, it made me laugh and I could easily picture it so I decided to go with it. During Week 2, I visualized my tumors as melting butter and my good (cancer free) tissue being protected by these "boxing nun" puppets. Their gloved fists punched at the radiation beams preventing most of it from getting to the good tissue. Hey, whatever works.....right?

Week 3 of Radiation Treatment - August 11-15
Have I mentioned that my left foot is back to normal again? After surgery, it was numb for several weeks. My surgeon said the numbness was "unexplained". Thankfully, the feeling gradually returned.

Mike came to the treatment room with me to see what I see each day. The day prior, I asked the radiotherapists if they minded. They encourage it. He was very welcome to come and learn more about my treatments. (I love Mayo!) Together, we walked down the long carpeted hallway, turned left at the big circle on the carpet, right at the end of that hall, and right again into the group of dressing rooms. There are six dressing rooms to choose from. I must be a typical creature of habit. Every day I use room number five. I changed, then locked the door. (I can leave my wallet and other stuff in there without having to worry about it since I lock the door and take the key with me each time.)

We went into the treatment room across the hall from the dressing rooms. My two therapists were setting things up and started describing things to Mike right away. I got up on the table. They lined up my tattoos with the lights in the head of the machine. My block was secured into the head of the machine. They left me alone to enjoy the rads and relaxing music! They went to a control-type room across the hall. My x-rays were up on the light boxes. Blocks were marked on the x-rays showing which areas were not getting any radiation. Mike could see me LIVE on a closed circuit TV. There were four computer monitors and a key board or two. The vault-like door to the treatment room closed with the aid of an electric motor - it took about 10 seconds. My therapist gave the command on the computer. A red signal showed on one of the monitors indicating that the RADIATION TREATMENT was IN PROGRESS. Mike was amazed how short the treatment was. It lasted 15.6 seconds. The door to the treatment room was already starting to open. Treatment from the top side was complete.

They returned to the treatment room, checked my alignment, rotated the head of the machine, changed my block (there is one for the top/front and one for the back), and went back across the hall. The door shut, the indicator came on, the door opened, my treatment was done for the day.

Mike was impressed with how nice and knowledgeable the radiotherapists were. We had been told that my total dose of radiation for the entire treatment time was 4140 rads Each treatment I have a portion of that total amount. Each week, they take an x-ray to make sure the blocks are still blocking what they should and also to check the location of new blocks as they are added. Mike asked if they subtract the amount of radiation I receive during x-rays from the total treatment dose. Good question. Each x-ray is only equal to about .02 rads. They expect to take about five x-rays throughout the course of the treatment. They had the x-rays figured in already. The thing that really hit home with me was the comparison of a typical chest x-ray (.02 rads) to my total dose (4140 rads). You would have to have 207,000 chest x-rays to equal the radiation I am getting during my treatment.

But, that's not really an accurate comparison. An x-ray uses a lower energy beam which would take much longer than 15.6 seconds to equal the energy treatment involves. This lower energy beam scatters more and makes a good picture for an x-ray. But, it would have to be left on longer to equal the dose of my normal treatment. This time difference would be much harder on my body (especially my skin). Still, if you divide 207,000 by 2 or 3 to try to get an equal comparisonÉ..that's a lot of x-rays!!! Ooooh. That sounds awful. But, once again, it beats the alternative!

Side effects
I forgot to mention that when the machine is on, I get a strong metal taste in the back of my mouth. When the machine goes off, the taste is not as strong. Overall, my mouth tastes bad most of the time right now. I suppose it is a combination of the metal taste during treatment and the slight dryness in my mouth and throat. I just carry water with me and take sips often. No big deal. I chew sugarless gum sometimes too. The dryness and bad taste should return to normal in less than a month.

The indigestion I was experiencing last week has gotten much better for some reason. Probably because I am watching what I eat. Also, I used Riopan for a couple of days.

The skin in the treatment area is noticeably pink now. I use vitamin E on the scar at the base of my neck (from the first biopsy) after treatment. I use Aloe Vera gel on the entire treated area in the morning and in the evening. The nurse who briefed me on side effects recommend that I not use anything on my skin for four hours before treatment. They think it causes some problems with the skin. My doc said he didn't agree. I decided to take the nurse's advise anyway. A few hours with no aloe won't hurt it.

Here's a good one. Every time I stand up, I get a major head rush. The woman who cuts my hair gave the best advise when I tried to stand up too quickly. She said, "Oooh, enjoy!" Made me laugh.

And, yes, I am still tired most of the time. I am annoyed by this the most. I hate taking naps. But, I have to. Just like a two year old, I suppose. Laying down and reading or watching TV is restful for the times when I cannot seem to fall asleep.

Mayo
I love Mayo! The people have been so nice every step of the way. They are easy to work with and very competent at their jobs. I am amazed that after all of the doctors, residents, nurses, technicians, receptionists, etc. I have worked with, only one of them has disappointed me. (That was the first radiologist we met with. I requested a different doc. No hassles. They assigned me to another guy. He has been super.) It is remarkably easy to find your way around the clinic and around town. I am a believer!

Looking forward
I have nine treatments left during the next two weeks. My doc has already set up my follow up appointment three months from now (Nov. 21 - just in time for Christmas shopping at the Mall of America!!!) During that same week, he plans to schedule me for a visit with the fertility clinic at Mayo (that beats sitting in the lymphoma clinic). It was his idea. He said I could go next week if I wanted to. But, I'd like a short break. One thing at a time. Still, it's great to see him so positive about us plowing ahead with life. He obviously feel that we have no reason to wait. He feels I am cured (when treatment is completed)!

Week 4 & 5 of Radiation Treatment - August 18-28
My skin in the treatment area got very red during week four. I was very tired. I started to lose some hair in the treated area. By the end of the week, my underarms were slightly burned and sore - strange place for a sunburn!

My last week of treatment (week 5) was great. It's kind of like the last week of school. I had a lot of loose ends to tie up. It was tiring. But, I was so excited to be finishing up. My side effects peaked. The skin on my upper chest and back was getting rough and tight. My underarms were sore from the burn. My throat was sore and dry and getting hoarse. I sneezed and it felt like something ripped in the back of my throat. My hair continued to fall out and decorate my shoulders (ick!). So, I pulled it out! I pulled clumps of the loose hair from the back of my head until my hairline was about an inch higher than it should be. It was going to fall out anyway. It didn't look that bad. I figured letting it shed onto my shoulders looked worse.

We met with my lymphoma doc, Dr. P. (He's the first doc we saw when we got to Mayo.) He's kind of a skeptical guy. He asked how I was doing and if I had had any night sweats or if my skin was itchy. Same questions he asked during our first meeting two months ago. I think he thought I was too positive. He wasn't sure if he should believe what I said. He examined me to see if he could find any lumps that shouldn't be there. Eventually, he stated with a smile that he was "satisfied." I was good to go. He said that I would need to come back for check ups every three months for a year, twice during the second year, and once a year for the rest of my life. Sounds good to me. I want to stay on top of it and know if it's back or not.

During breakfast on the morning of my last treatment, the news reported that a past NBC executive, Brandon Tartikoff, had died. He had had Hodgkin's in his twenties. Apparently, he was in the process of fighting HD again when he died. I think he was in his late forties. The newspaper article I read said that he had written his memoirs. I tried to order a copy at a book store but they could not locate it. If anyone knows more about this, please let me know. He sounds like a wonderful and inspiring person. I want learn from his experiences. The news of Tartikoff's death saddened and humbled me greatly. I knew then that even though I plan to move on with a very full life, I'll always have Hodgkin's in the back of my mind somewhere. It's not a cloud. It's a reminder to look around an APPRECIATE everything - especially our health, family, and friends!

Tartikoff's death contributed to making my last day of treatment an emotional one. For the past three months my mission was to find out what was wrong with me, get it fixed, and deal with the side effects. Finishing treatment was going to be great - but, also a let down believe it or not. What would I do now? Since the day (June 2) I went to find out what the lump near my collar bone was until that last day of treatment (August 28), a lot had happened: I had two surgeries, a bunch of nasty tests and exams, five weeks of radiation treatment, we moved in with Mom and Dad, put most of our stuff in storage, sold our house, I was about to quit my job, Mike was waiting to hear when his new job would start, we still didn't know what city his new employer would base him from. Who was I anyway? So, much had changed in such a short time I was headed for an identity crisis. But at least I didn't have Hodgkin's anymore. An identity crisis was small peanuts - I could handle it.

Anyway, on my last day of treatment, Jessica, one of my radiation therapists, came up to Mike and I in the waiting room. She was not dressed in her normal white lab coat, blue scrubs, and tennis shoes. She was in shorts. She said it was her day off but that she wanted to come in, say good bye, and wish me luck. She brought me a cookie bouquet. I was surprised and touched. She went out of her way on her day off to be so kind and generous to me. It's her and people like her that have made the past few months a blessing. I have been on the receiving end of so much love, kindness, and generosity that I will carry it with me and give it to others for the rest of my life. They say there is some good in every bad situation. THAT is the good I have found in having had cancer.

©1997 Diana L.E.G. Hinnrichs