I have been having to have 8 days of G-CSF injections to keep my blood counts up. They are not trusting my visualization. It looks like it will be standard until my treatment finishes.

My housemate has been helping me out with the injections as it is quite a lot to inject and pretty painful going in. I didn't think I could manage to do it myself, so I prepared the fiddly bit with the syringe contents and she just does the injection. I am, however, going on a week's holiday next time and will not have anyone able to help me out so tonight I tried to do it myself.

Wow, what a weird experience. I would never have imagined being able to inject a long syringe full of gloop into my own thigh but I did. 

HD seems to be making me a braver person. I am able to do and say things that I probably wouldn't have done before.

I have recently found the strength to say goodbye to a relationship I knew wasn't making me happy. 

At 32 years old I would love to be married and have children and my own place, etc etc.. .but I know that I have to find the right person and not just settle for someone who is not "the one" for me. I hate having to hurt someone's feelings, but I know that the misery we would both go through in a relationship that isn't working would be much worse.

I'm also able to really have a sense of humor about this situation I'm in.  A friend of mine who I haven't heard from since before being diagnosed called yesterday to arrange to catch up.  

I said, "Well, there's certainly a lot to catch up on." 

"Uh oh" she said "sounds like a long story," which I found pretty funny. 

We organized a meeting on Saturday and I realized I would have to warn her before meeting face to face or she would have a huge shock.

"Er, I do have to mention one of those big things in the long story is that I've been having chemo & I'm fat and balding!" 

There was a bit of a silence and she said, "please tell me you are joking." 

I said "no, but I really am all right don't worry." 

"So you're just having chemo for a laugh then are you?" she joked.

I guess I've put off contacting her and another mutual friend because it's a bit weird calling up and saying, "oh, by the way I've got cancer." It's a bit of a burden on close acquaintances - friends can just deal (though I have to say telling friends was very hard too).  

Anyway wish me luck readers, on our meet. Let's hope I can make it comfortable for her.